Onions to Lilies

Some days last fall and winter, I pulled on my boots, my wool socks and a sturdy hat and walked with a group of fellow fitness-seekers. We are travelers who have in common only our desire to walk; our venerable walking club has been around forever, and there are a multitude of hikes to choose from during any given week.

One result of the variety of options offered is that each walk is likely to be quite different from the previous one. So are the participants, who vary according to personal preference, ability, geography, and schedule.

An interested newcomer, then, might find, as I have, that each hike offers something the others do not. In the end, though, I found that these hikes offered nothing of the experience I hoped for.

Earlier this fall, on what turned out to be my penultimate hike with the group, we marched out through an almost-quaint village, through a housing tract and into a wooded retreat, where the path turned and bent here and there, with slight elevations and declensions. A stream trickled under the trees; it was cold and clear, and, yes, beautiful in the way that a day can be when fallen leaves are still littering the ground, trees are newly barren, and winter is just beginning.

Scenery was not the only thing on the minds of my fellow pilgrims, though. A small drama was unfolding with a nearly literary precision as we walked. I turned, discreetly, to see the widow

Her kerchiefs were of finest weave and ground;
I dare swear that they weighed a full ten pound
Which, of a Sunday, she wore on her head.
Her hose were of the choicest scarlet red

Her “kerchiefs” were, of course, modern outdoor gear, but of the more fashionable sort — the modern equivalent of that “full ten pound” — and the ensemble as cunning as that scarlet hose. Speaking with a certain reserve (though leaving nothing untold), our contemporary widow coyly fenced with her partner, setting forth her credentials in (literal) dollars and cents. ($200,000, if you must know; but that was just the condo.) He

. . . had a fiery-red, cherubic face,
For eczema he had; his eyes were narrow
As hot he was, and lecherous, as a sparrow;
With black and scabby brows and scanty beard;
He had a face that little children feared.
There was no mercury, sulphur, or litharge,
No borax, ceruse, tartar, could discharge,
Nor ointment that could cleanse enough, or bite,
To free him of his boils and pimples white,
Nor of the bosses resting on his cheeks.

He mistook her intentions, or, more likely, just didn’t understand.

Well loved he garlic, onions, aye and leeks,
And drinking of strong wine as red as blood.
Then would he talk and shout as madman would.
And when a deal of wine he’d poured within,
Then would. he utter no word save Latin.
Some phrases had he learned, say two or three,
Which he had garnered out of some decree;
No wonder, for he’d heard it all the day;
And all you know right well that even a jay
Can call out Wat as well as can the pope.

His voice was no more useful than a jay’s to meet the silence she offered him once he confessed that he still worked, long past retirement age.

Bold was her face, and fair, and red of hue.
She’d been respectable throughout her life,
With five churched husbands bringing joy and strife,
Not counting other company in youth

She dropped back a bit, but then came forward; there was no one else to bestow her charms upon. The rest of us, it seemed, were all unfit. Known, or unknown, or the wrong gender, or an even poorer match in age, or perhaps already mated.

We marched, the widow, her erstwhile, hapless suitor, and all the rest of us until we reached a clearing. Afar, in an alcove hewn from the earth, stood a statue of The Virgin Mary, adorned with garlands of garish beads. At her feet stood a small army of tall glasses with wax columns flickering within.

The sight shook me, briefly, from my literary amusements. For a few seconds, cognitive dissonance took a back seat to raw panic, and another sort of drama. I am a Californian: who sets dozens of unattended flames out in the woods? Christians do, it seems. Or, in this case, Anglo Christians, as the flaming vessels lacked the devotional images present on similar devices lit by Hispanic worshipers.

As horror subsided (after all, the leaves were wet, and this is practically another country), I surveyed the grotto. To the right and left the path twisted; the land was pocked with smaller and greater altars, each fitted with one statue, a multitude of flames, and beaded ropes. Was there really a glimmer of Christmas tinsel among the trees as well, or is the memory just a figment of my over-clocked mind?

“How could anyone help but feel the reverence of this place?” someone proclaimed, but archly, like a well-meaning schoolteacher. She stood under the evergreens, between demure Mary and a smaller icon several hundred yards away. The candles flickered like poorly designed electric lights; the cement of the statues stood leaden and solid, unrelieved by the brightness of the day.

The widow and her consort were not so affected. Behind me, she described aloud the difference between her yard service and the lawnmower employed by her eager, impecunious, friend. Her elucidation, though, was done too subtly for him to catch the point — or not, as the point, ultimately, seemed to be to avoid discouraging his attentive mien.

As a whole, we were not a reverent bunch. This sort of exchange proved to be common on these walks. Discordance between the putative motivation for these hikes (’getting close to nature’) and the actual experience was the operant leitmotif.

Fond as I am of the natural works ascribed to the Christian deity, on this particular hike, I was unable to appreciate the improvements made in this place by man. Likewise, no beauties, natural or enhanced, caught the imagination of either the widow or her companion. Like Chaucer’s pilgrims, one and all, we had other things on our minds.

Nonetheless, in common with that band from long ago, we were all searching for something. Not necessarily to fulfill a religious vow, but perhaps for some sense of a larger world, for companionship, admiration, affection, something — anything? — we could not find at home, at work, in our everyday lives. We all hike because everything else is not quite enough, and we suspect that on these pathways, in these trees, in the bright clear air of fall, we will discover something else, something just a little more than we feel in our everyday lives.

It’s unity, of a sort. We are all, in the end, pilgrims on the same journey. But this not the right one for me. I don’t know what to make of these conversations; of this artificial grotto in the woods; of verbal flirtations amongst ill-matched and alarmingly wary suitors. I am discomfited by the resonance between Chaucer’s cast and my companions. Under the circumstances, “le plus ça change” is not a reassuring thought. This is not what I am looking for, out on the trails amongst the greenery.

Quotation source

Chaucer image from Clipart ETC. Literary Characters

Wife illustration from Jane Zatta’s Chaucer

Summoner from Clipart ETC. Literary Characters

Upper statue from Flickr

Candles from Church Candles Online

Lower statue from Flickr

Cross on the wayside from Flickr

Allyson Hill writes a fun little blog when she isn’t creating nifty things for her shop at Etsy. Allyson makes zip pouches/wristlet bags, tissue cozies, a purse she calls a “drop sac”, and a car (that’s as in ‘auto’, not ‘feline’) litter bag. It’s the litter bag that I especially love. That’s one on the left, in a charming and wacky owl and leaf print.

Allyson’s litter bag is incredibly clever. She’s made the strap adjustable to fit just about anywhere you’d want to use it in your car, designed the bag so that it stays open for easy use, and made a smart interior that lets you use liners for quick cleaning. Even better, she makes each bag out of vintage-y fabrics in a huge variety of colors and patterns. Who knew trash could be so much fun?

I think Allyson’s designs are awesome, but I’m just not adventuresome enough to make deco part of my car’s interior. Allyson’s pink and turquoise “Gum Dots” bag, for example, is for expansive personalities. Me, I’m a tweedy kind of person, so I did a riff on Allyson’s litter bag. (Well, yeah, what I really did is make it boring. Sigh.)

Here’s mine, in a tasteful black/grey tweed to match the (equally boring) interior of the car I drive most. My bag’s a little different — I used ripstop for the lining, instead of Alyson’s nicer duck (it’s what I had around the house) and I’m sure that my method for holding the bag open is much kludgier than Allyson’s, but it works well, and I’m very happy with the result.

Mine is attached to the interior of my upper glove box. It just happens that my glove box hinges work perfectly for this; I can even get into the lower box without removing the litter bag. Allyson also shows hers hanging from headrests (second image, above right) and on a gearshift; she’ll even customize the length for you if you want.

No, I’m not going to explain how I made mine; if you get inspired, as I did, and want to do all the work yourself, have at it. But if you’d rather have a bright, glorious (and useful!) accent in your vehicle, check out Allyson’s offerings. For not much more than you’d spend for an inadequate trash container at Target, you can smile every time you throw out your used latte cup, and own a litter bag everyone else will admire, too.